Last Moment

TILL THE LAST MOMENT
Cindy the dog --- by G.S.Rajan.

While I write, it is already three days since one entity passed away leaving behind a whole set of mixed unexplained emotions; emotions which every man or woman has to one day experience in life, when some being decides it is time to say adieu to the world of human existence.
It was annoying initially when Cindy’s master would abruptly say in the middle of a meeting, that he has to go and Cindy would be waiting for him. But we got used to it, and sometimes we even joked that Cindy was his daughter.
The name was Cindrella and it was called Cindy, a pomerian female dog which has been with him for 15 years. Brought initially to please his sons, it became a duty to care for, after both his sons left for the call of life-paths in their own lives.
Dogs and elephants, both fascinating to man, one with its quality and the other with its sheer presence.On seeing a documentary film on elephants, I just wondered how much wisdom these giant beasts have in them; to give away the leading position to an other able one, to leave behind the herd when it decides that its time to die has come, to head back to its place of birth when it knows that it has no more time to live.
Dog of course has passed a long way, because it has come to live with the humans, mainly because man has found it easier to feed, and it does not have a quality which would make it rejected. Loyalty, obedience, selfless love, undemanding patience, unwavering solidarity; noble qualities which can make it to give off its own life for the sake of its master.
What’s in a dog, some people might say, even some religions might say, some races love to eat; it is just an animal, but those who think deeper would understand it is a whole different set of feelings once we realise that it is a being, with a whole lot of noble emotions rolled into one, existent in humans along with other feelings.
I realised later, every animal in its own natural state has got a set of rules and way of living.
A wake up call one day in the morning saw me in Cindy’s home, the same Cindy whom I had seen thirteen years ago. I still remember that every time I went to its home, it would first greet me by barking, then he would go below the sofa and get me a bone, it would put it at my feet and look at me. I did not understand initially, but I was asked to say, ‘oh, very good’, and then it would take the bone and go to its place in a corner. Of course there were other objects as well she would show me, a dog biscuit, a plastic ball, etc….. All objects given to her has to be shown to the visitors whom it thinks as harmless and a friend. This day was different, it looked at me, barely able to bark, but came near and sat down looking at me, I had to pat its head and say as I usually do with dogs ‘good boy’.
“It has not had food for five days now”, the master said.
I knew instantly that he had called me to help him take it to the veterinary hospital.
“He vomits everything”, he said.
“You told me, he did not have any food”, I replied.
“I gave her some chicken soup, but she is not able to digest that, and now she is not even having such liquid food”.
After going through the formalities of recording the complaint, I brought saline and medicines for it. Cindy was not able to jump to the table; her master placed her on it. Her mouth was bound, because with lower intelligence levels, it would not know the needles and bottles are for her good health. Sometimes of course, dogs would be so obedient as to tolerate the pain on the command of the master, as I remembered our Scooby lying down on the table even while squealing in pain, because I told it “Boy this is for you, lie down”. But Cindy was not a Doberman and morever was 15 years old, making it feel the pain more. I noticed that the rear leg was bloodied and she was not able to even stand comfortably.
“The last time, it was given an injection, they made a mistake” master said.
“How unfortunate”, thought I, “If it had been a human, he would have angrily gone to the extent of slapping the wrong doer, alas you are only an animal, inherent with the quality of obedience and ignorant to the extent, unable to speak out, that you would have just left the hospital along with your master. Okay, this time I would see it would not happen again”.
Anxiously, the master waited hoping that the saline and injections would work out to make Cindy to her normal self again. The answer came as soon as we left the vet. She showed signs of discomfort, and vomited on reaching the home. The medicines did not work and her master whom I was watching grew anxious by the day. The ritual continued the next day, the next and the day after, the only difference was that saline was replaced by the glucose bottles, and medicines were changed except for the I.V.needle and the anti-allergic injection.

In course of time, I slowly started noticing that Cindy would not leave her master even a moment; she would follow his feet all over the house, wait outside the bathroom till he came out, and almost stuck to his feet.
“She waits till he comes from the office”, the mistress said.
Days passed by and as though the day was reaching the dusk, Cindy’s look was changing along with her master’s frowning lines of the face. While I watched the white fur falling down, I almost watched as though nature was giving a message, when as though a coincidence, every time I look at its face, I would almost immediately watch the autumn leaf falling from the trees around the vet hospital, or near its home.
“Her time to depart has started”, I thought over, “Now her master is going to feel the pain in short time”.
Witnessing the whole happening, I would sometimes feel how vainly were we trying to stop nature, but as it is, the whole world is vain in thinking about nature. But these little beings, devoid of intelligence, devoid of speech always have a premonition about their own life, and Cindy’s action of sticking to her master’s feet was an indication that she feared leaving him forever.
The Vet was puzzled, and he reasoned that she had to be dewormed once again, and gave us a tablet with instructions to feed it if required with force. It had to be done. The task as usual was again to be done with my help. We tied up her mouth, but she would not oblige and she went off. Her master was at his wit’s end. I told him to order it and affirmed that she would obey it. The master’s call was sterner this time, and Cindy obliged. After a bit of struggling, we were successful finally in making her take half a tablet. Even in its own pain and ill health, She was showing the quality that made her race to be called “Man’s best friend”; Obedience.
The next time I saw him, he was worried, and as though she understood every one of his words, she came to him and looked at him as though she was saying silently to him, “I understand your worry, but I am with you”. She was showing her solidarity and loyalty with him.

The master cheered up one day, and I thought Cindy might have become normal. After all, with all the care and affection he is showing for it, she would be on the path of recovery.
“She drank some milk today, and ate some biscuits”, he beamed and slipped to his natural self.
Soon, work made me distance myself from this rare study of a dog and its master. Four days passed by and I enquired about her. I came to know that he had further got it treated and some tests done.
It was found that Cindy has followed the path of nature. Old age has made their kidneys fail, and that was why, she was unable to attend to any nature call and that were why she was not able to process the food in her stomach, making her vomit.
“I had heard of kidney transplantation in humans, but was there any way out here”, I started thinking, because I had become a part of this “Save Cindy” programme without my own knowledge. I had never heard of any organ transplantation in animals, and so I thought, “Its time to say good bye”. My feeling had turned heavy, but I did not show it. After all, every one has to part one day.
As I thought it all, I saw Cindy’s master looking at me with a queer look on his face. I knew what he was going to tell me. He continued, “I was thinking of whether it is possible to make a transplant and save her, I asked too……………………but I think we have to let it pass away naturally”.
He passed into a long silence that defined that he knew what was coming and was trying to prepare himself for that, because he did not plan what to do in her absence.
He was downright optimistic in thinking that Cindy would remain with him. Truth was hard to accept and I saw that he was struggling to do it. What he did not realise to my knowledge was that Cindy has strained herself so much just to be with him.
Cindy loved him wholly and selflessly, for her, her master was not different from herself. With her love alone, she continued to live though her body did not permit such an exercise. She had stretched her existence, because she did not want to leave him. Cindy has just affirmed the quality which made her race as “Man’s best friend”; Selfless love.
Time passed on and one day, when Cindy’s master did not come to the office, our office helper told me in the evening, “Cindy is lying in his lap since the morning”. The way he told me smacked of sarcasm, or maybe I thought it was.
I told myself that this fellow has never gone near a dog, and when he goes he would know the kind of haunting pain that will affect a person when a dog prepares to leave its master. I knew the pain, and I knew what would happen in the coming days. It was but an animal, but a noble animal. One in a million humans might have such splendid qualities all rolled into one, but every dog has it in itself from birth.

The early morning call next day gave me the anticipated news.
“Cindy passed off at 02:45 A.M. 05/02/2006, would you accompany me to bury its body?”
I could not, as circumstances prevented me.
He told me later, “In her ill-health too, she made great effort to go out of the house, just to vomit, she was just dragging along as her rear legs failed, but still she stuck to her discipline. When she found that I was tired of keeping her in my lap, she waited till the last minute, and went to her basket to sleep……………forever”.
Animals have a premonition of their death, and Cindy being no different wanted to be with her master till her last minute; she realised instinctively at the last moment that there was no time, and as all animals do, she quietly chose her own place to rest………finally.

Cindy taught lot of things in her last days. It showed that a dog will stick to its qualities till the last moment. The following days would be tough for the master, because in this illusory reality, except for its master a dog was just an animal and that was how all the people were going to view it. It seals all chances of sympathy or solidarity he might have got, if in case a human relation were to be lost. A dog is the essence of all noble qualities a human may possess, but for creative intelligence. For the master, Cindy lives forever……..and many members of his race would live like that for their masters. Just to imagine that a dog would slowly make its master to care for it and be its companion, just by giving the selfless love its race alone is capable of by birth. If only man were to learn to love God just like a dog?